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A Busy November

I know I haven’t been posting as much as I wanted, but November was kind of stressful. I wasn’t busy this past weekend, but I wasn’t feeling well so mainly just chilled in bed with crochet. I also started a new Switch indie game called Poi which is cute, pretty simple though repetitive. Also started playing Happy Home Designer because I needed an RPG break, though I might go back to Etrian soon. I still haven’t seen Thor Ragnorok and really want to! Just don’t know when or if that will happen.

I’ve been really on the fence with my Youtube channel. It’s hard to articulate exactly, but I’ve just not wanted to record. Trying to be entertaining while playing a game is loads harder than you’d think and I don’t feel very comfortable with it. I don’t think it’s just anxiety, it’s just hard to be energetic and I don’t find it that fun? I’m the type of person who likes to jump between games and doesn’t like feeling tied to playing a game because I started an LP. Committing to a game is hard, committing to one that gets no views is harder. Not that I care about views but it is less motivating. So I’m not sure what to do. I should push myself to finish the ones I started and go back to finish up my Gabriel Knight book experiment, but after that I just don’t know.

I might just switch to a completely casual style for my Youtube, like Game of the Week of whatever I wanted to play/talk about (limited to what I can actually record, but shouldn’t be much of a problem), or random discussions with gameplay, kinda like a podcast thing. Literally just showing off gameplay for games without the pressure of completing. That should work out better for me.

Another thing I’ve been thinking about more is writing. My relationship with writing is a bit odd, but I’ve been missing it this month. Specifically writing story. Possibly because it was NaNoWriMo, though I didn’t participate. So I might make that a part of my new year, as there’s a thing called 85K90, which seems a more manageable goal. Who knows if I’ll succeed, but I definitely want writing to be part of my life again, and that includes blogging.

Here’s to a more productive 2018 and a fun, relaxing December! Most anticipated game comes out tomorrow and I’m not even playing it because I never finished the first Xenoblade Chronicles. But heck, I might just play it regardless!


Writing: I scream. #MeToo (CW, TW)

I scream,
but silence continues.
I scream,
but no sound escapes.
I scream,
but it stays inside of me.
I scream,
you stop me.
I scream,
but I’m no longer in the room.
I scream,
but I am the ceiling, the walls, the floor.
I scream,
but I am no longer here.
I scream,
but you’ve stolen my voice.
A single tear drops.
I die inside.
Until I am reborn.

Turns out all this stuff going on in social media is triggering me. Nightmare last night. Is that so surprising? I wanted to write about Dewey’s 24 Hr Readathon, but I guess that’ll wait until tomorrow. I was too busy to write it yesterday. So there’s this instead.

Where Did I Go and Where Is My Blog Going?

If you’ve been waiting for a blog, first off I have to say Thank You! I know I had posted what was going to be a schedule I planned to stick to and didn’t follow through. Pretty much right after the last post, I was in too much pain to do much of anything. The problem was solved, but it took about a month and a half. I should have come back to the blog at that point, but I was putting all my time into getting Christmas crochet gifts done, and the last gift took longer (I literally only finished it 2 days ago and now I don’t want to touch a big project for a long time).

Anyway, I hate feeling like I’m making excuses when blogging should just be FUN. And when I get into it, it is a lot of fun. I struggle with making the time for writing though, now that I’ve added more hobbies to my life >.<. Crochet kind of took over (I became addicted to the craft, I have a ton of passion for it as it turns out), and it does great things for my anxiety. However, now that the holidays are over with and I have no “deadlines” in regards to it, it’s time to make writing more present in my life. I just need to find that balance, which can be very difficult to do.

So this is not an excuse, or an apology for not being able to follow a set schedule when I got sick. I’m not going to put myself down for that, life happens and sometimes it takes time to figure things out. With that said, I won’t be making any promises.

I’m going to treat this blog as a hobby, something I do because I have something to say or just for fun. If that translates to regular posting, then that’s great. If not, so be it, that just means I’ve been occupied with other things that take precedence. I don’t see myself writing another checking in post like this unless I have something big I want to share outside of on topic posts. So this should be the last one I do for awhile.

Next post should be about my 2015 reading, maybe gaming as well. After that, who knows? I hope to find and solidify a routine this year, so hopefully that can happen. But again, no promises.

If you’d still like to check in with the blog, subscribe to be notified for when I do post, or just follow me on Twitter. Once again, a huge Thank You if you’ve read this far. It can be so lonely working on a post that takes a minimum of one hour to write and not knowing if anyone will read. So if you ARE reading, I really appreciate it!

2015 Resolutions and Goals

It’s that time again, as we close this year and welcome a new one, full of hope, possibility and a bit of reflection.

I’m going to break this up into sections for reading, writing, and youtube. In case you don’t know, I like to dabble in writing; for many years it was a passion of mine. I lost the way a bit as the work I had been doing completely sapped me of creativity, so I quit this year. But I do hope that 2015 leads me back to fiction, and I have goals reflecting that as you will read. So without further adieu, here are my lists.

Reading Goals

– Read 30 Books. This is the same goal I had for 2014, but failed as I only managed half that. I know this number seems pitifully small compared to almost every other book blogger, but it is a realistic one for me. Unfortunately, I read at a snail’s pace. It sucks. I used to read faster, getting 30-40 pages an hour, but now I only manage half of that. So you can imagine. Reading is hard for me, but I still love it!

– Listen to more audiobooks. This will surely help me “read” more, and I discovered them this year. My problem is that at the moment, I have no super portable way to listen (only have a Kindle Fire HD 7 to listen on, no smartphone), so this is still quite the time commitment. I would like to set the reasonable goal of 5 though.

-Write and COMPLETE book reviews to share on the blog/goodreads. I started a couple in the past and then never finished them >.<. I have good notes for a Sabriel review though so I’m planning a vlog review for that as well as written! Hopefully it will be that way for all 2015 books.

Writing Goals

-Join Write All Year (haven’t yet, but decided I will as it is NOT a commitment to write every day, but to write more consistently each month and you set the monthly goal. That I can do).

-Write the story for my unannounced project, to start in February. So that means about 10-20K words in January.

-Do NaNoWriMo this year! I’m actually going to make time for it, or it least have that on my mind that I will do it.

-Write a novel this year. Or at least multiple drafts? I realize that’s the point of NaNo lol, but I’d like a completed manuscript with one of my ideas.

Youtube/Blog Goals

-Consistently upload 3 times a week.

-Get ahead in videos to actually schedule them.

-Take advantage of time I have for recording to do multiple recordings at once. (especially important, with my tendency towards sickness and a problematic throat)

-Write at least 3 posts a week.

Life Goals

-Walk every day I’m able to! I seriously need to walk more.

-Be more organized in planning and general organization.

-Take care of my health this year. That’s a big thing, and health is pretty much gonna be my word for 2015.

That’s pretty much it. I’ve reflected on what I want to achieve and what can be achieved realistically. Slightly challenging in my current situation, and once it changes for the better, these goals will probably be no problem at all. So I’m writing these goals based on the situation that could change as early as Feb or March; but better to do that then write goals based on something that hasn’t yet happened.

Also, in case you missed it, check out my two haul videos for some cool stuff I picked up this year. I hope to do more in the new year, though not sure if I like them yet…what’s your opinion on haul videos?

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